It's His Birthday Today

I feel nostalgic today. Today is my son's birthday. 


I look through the window of the past days and see him as a baby: happy and laughing. I see him as a toddler: blond hair, brown eyes and laughing. I see him as a boy: learning manners, playing T-Ball, growing and laughing. I see him as a teen: deep in school books, playing sports, on the phone with friends and laughing.

Today, I see him as a man. I see him with family. I see him working to improve his health. I see him with his nephew. I see him striving to be a good husband and father. I see him laughing.

I feel proud of the man he has become. He is full of love, kindness and compassion. He is all I ever hoped he would become and so much more.

Three Days in D.C.

This Fall brought me new adventures. . . a  three day trip to Washington, D.C. with my sister to visit my niece. I haven't flown since 1989 so this was a very new experience. I've never traveled with my sister. I rode the Metro, took my first taxi since 1994 and rode in a car rented by the hour.

We flew from Tulsa to Dallas and then on to D.C. (a non-eventful trip!) Picked up at the airport by a friend, we arrived at my niece's apartment just before she got home from work.

The next three days were spent laughing, eating, walking and talking. I saw my niece as a grown up and not just as the little girl who used to stay up late watching movies. I acted like a tourist with my niece as my guide to monuments, memorials, the National Cathedral, Arlington Cemetery and more. I wanted to see everything and took pictures everywhere I went, at times taking pictures for others or asking them to take one of all of us.

We ate burgers and fries at Good Stuff Eatery, (I had a Toasted Marshmallow Milkshake), chili dogs and a half-smoke at Ben's Chili Bowl, home cooked fried chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy, and home-made meat loaf (cooking lessons that ended well), a lunch at the Old Post Office food court, and one night we finished the day with dessert at Kramer Books and After Words Café (I had the Dysfunctional Family Brownie. If you knew my family, you'd know how funny that really is.)

Our trip home  (D.C. to Dallas) was a little bumpy as we diverted south to skirt around storms. The clouds looked awesome from above! We landed late in Dallas, but so did everyone else. Delayed an hour, we arrived in Tulsa just fine.

I spent the night at my sister's house. The next morning I woke early, ready for the drive home and I arrived at my house before noon.

The days flew by. I wasn't quite ready to leave the big city excitement for my rural lifestyle so it took me a few days to get back into the things that are my routine, but I finally settled in and got down to business.

I look at the pictures (nearly 200 of them!) and remember the great time I had. I give thanks to my family for their understanding, taking up the slack and making do while I was gone. And most of all, I thank God for the privilege of traveling to our nation's capital. Everyone who can, should go see what our forefather's created for us. Everyone should see the war memorials and the thousands of white headstones at Arlington that stand as reminders of the men who gave their lives. 

The names on the Wall brought tears to my eyes at the sacrifice of so many in Viet Nam. A lump formed in my throat as I watched the precision of the Changing of the Guard at the Tomb of the Unknown. So many lives given; so much sacrifice.

Yes, it was good to go and see.  It was good to spend time with my wonderful sister. It was good to know my niece as an adult. All in all, a great three days in D.C.

Thanksgiving, 2010

This Thanksgiving, we spent the holiday at home; alone.

Both of our sons and their families went to their in-laws for the day. We missed them, of course, but realize that we must share them. Others love them, too.

Friday was almost a normal day. Both sons had to work, so we (my husband and I) were on our own again.  That is until supper time. Our younger son and his wife share our house with us so they were home at the usual time. Then our older son and his wife arrived and the "party" began. We laughed and talked and caught up on all the news. We played cards until late. We went to bed happy to have them under our roof for a time.

Saturday started early. Coffee on and showers taken, the cooking began. The men went to pick up our grand-daughters from their mother's house while we started dinner. The turkey in the oven and details delegated, I felt I could take a few minutes to rest. So, I fed the baby a bottle and cuddled with him.

I watched the road for the first glimpse of the car. "Where are my men folk? Dinner is ready and they are not here yet. I need to see my girls!" My girls are teens now and no longer little girls. I enjoy talking with them and learning all about what is going on in their lives. 

Finally, they came up the drive. I put the rolls in the oven and greeted them with hugs and kisses. 

Dinner was ready. I called the family to the table and we gave thanks for the many blessings in our lives. I fought to keep tears in check.

There around the table, I remembered why I am alive: I am here for this family. I love them. I serve them. I share my faith with them. God has a plan for my life; even when I'm not clear on what that plan is, I trust Him and follow Him.

  

It has not been that long since I had to remind myself daily that I am necessary and needed. I kept a Gratitude List in my journal so I would never forget. The Father has shown me that these people, these eight souls, depend on me for my unique outlook and contribution to their lives. Who would take my place with them if I were not here?

My Family~~The Guthrie Gang

The Holy Spirit whispered to me that no one else can minister to them in the same way that I do. No one else can show Jesus to them like I do. They will become who God desires them to be and I am a part of that. 

These days, I look forward to seeing what He is doing in each life. I look to see how my sons are growing and maturing in their faith. I watch my grand-daughters for signs of God's touch on their lives. I look at my daughters-in-law and am delighted with their love for my sons and how God is using them. I look at our grand-son (6 months old!) and hope and pray for his life. My husband shines God's love on me, and on our family.

I am greatly blessed. I am deeply grateful. God has brought me through the dark valley into the light of His love. 

The day passed. We ate and laughed, played dominoes, watched some football, (the girls) drove the tractor, told stories and loved on each other. Then it was time for them to go. I watched them load their things and start down the drive.

I miss them already.

The Cross

Rugged wood
Full of splinters made by nails driven into His flesh
Blood soaked from His wounds
The odors of dried blood and human misery
Darkness overcomes the day
The veil is torn
Forsaken; alone

Separated from the Father by the weight of my sin
Glad obedience to the will of the Father
Deserted by friends and followers; only a few there with His mother
Gasping for air
Giving pardon and hope
Offering Himself in my place
“It is finished!”

Taken from the cross
Wrapped in cloth
Laid in a borrowed grave
Sorrow  and fear among the disciples
The women arise early and go
An empty tomb!
Where is He?

Run and tell
Looking in wonder
Waiting. . . Waiting
Suddenly He is with them again
More teaching, more miracles
Glorified body
He goes to the Father

News spreads
Followers gather
Miracles happen
Persecution and death to His followers
The Church is born
A new covenant created
Time passes

The gospel covers the world
Non-believers scoff
The eastern sky splits and He returns
He gathers those who believe and follow
He destroys evil
His bride dwells with Him in peace
Everlasting worship in His presence

I look at the cross, see Jesus there
And repent
Forgiven, I see the hope of glory
Tears of gratitude stream
I see the cross, empty, and know I am His
Whatever He asks, I will do
Now and forever

Success

At my 13 year old grand-daughter's church, the youth leader recently asked the group, "Who is the most successful person you know?'

Her answer, "My grandma."

The next question was, "Why?"

She said, "Because she knows about everything."

When my son called to tell me this story, I had quite a reaction. I felt pleased that she thought so well of me and disbelief that she chose me. I wondered if she knew very many people from which to choose. I denied I was successful.

Then, I thought about it for a little while and began to define success. I usually think, as most usually do, of success in terms of money or things. But success is really much more than that.

I think I have decided that success really means, at least for me, to believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior, listen and obey Him, and share Him with others. In doing these three things, joy and blessing follow. If I am filled with the joy of the Lord and others see that in me and want to know Him because of it, that is success.

I know that all knowledge and wisdom come from God so if I learn from my mistakes, gain wisdom and then share what I've learned with those around me and they learn also, that is success.

I will count my life successful when I hear my Lord say, "Well done, good and faithful servant."  

Until then, I bask in the glow: a grandmother proud of her grand-daughter's praise. She is a delight to my heart and a joy to our family.

Seriously Tempted

I recently read an excerpt from the poem Seriously Tempted by T.L.Cooper. (http://writewithtlc.tlcooper.com)

Christina Katz, The Prosperous Writer, (http://christinakatz.com) defined caring as being “concerned or solicitous towards, to make provisions for or to look out for, and to have an affection or concern for.”

Would I describe myself as caring? Or am I habitually care-taking?

She defined habitual care-taking as “an addiction to niceness, people-pleasing and an overwhelming desire to control the impressions of others in order to be perceived as good.”

I too often find myself trying too hard to please others and have them think me a good person.

In the last few years, though, I have come to know myself better. I see the person God created and. . . I like me!

I don’t care so much what others think of me. I no longer want to be a people pleaser. I want, instead, to be a God pleaser.

When I first read this poem, I thought how much I am like that: easily becoming what someone else expects me to be.

Reading it again, I begin to pray:
    Holy God,
    Let me be
        “your heart’s desire
        What you want of me”*

    And I want to be
        “merely a shell of me
        An empty vessel filled by you.”*

*from the poem Seriously Tempted T.L.Cooper (http://writewithtlc.tlcooper.com)

Memories

Memories of my life and my family are important to me.

They are all I have,
All that is just mine.
No one can take them from me.

Memories of my mom,
And of my dad,
Of the life we lived,
Bring me a certain comfort.

Memories of my childhood
And my growing up years:
My older brother drawing a playhouse for me in the dirt,
Later driving me to movies or home from football games.

Memories of my dear sister
And me playing in the creek
And on the bus or riding horses with cousins;
The days of sharing a room, clothes and secrets.

Memories of young love
And early married years filled with babies.
Then watching boys grow
Into young men with families of their own.

Memories bring me joy.
Even the hard times are good to remember
If I can look at them, learn their lessons
And become better.

A better listener
A better doer
A better partner
A better parent

A better follower of Christ.

I always want to be better
But seldom am.
I fail miserably at learning the lessons.
I can only be who and how I am.

It is only as I truly empty myself
And let the Holy Spirit live through me
That I ever become a
Better version of myself.

Memories of who I was
Replaced by reminders
Of who I am. . .
A Child of the King.