What do I See?

I've been watching from my window. What do I see?

I see small boys jumping on a trampoline. I see smiling faces and hear laughter. Shouts, full of childish joy, fill the air. I see the black cloth stretch with each step and bounce. I see the silver steel sparkle as the leaves blow and let the sun reflect, however briefly.

I see Momma and Daddy laughing with boys. I see her sharp intake of breath with the Young One falls. He's so light he can't stand when the Brother walks across the net-like surface.

I see those boys run circles, fall and roll. I see them jump up laughing and try again.

I see the Brother, later in the day, look with longing out the window and hear him ask if he can go play again. But, it is supper time and getting darker and colder. So the answer must be no. But maybe tomorrow. I see disappointment flash across his face.

I see the smile quickly fade as a frown and quivering lip take its place.

I see me in that face. 

I see me wanting what I want, when I want it. Not satisfied to wait for a better time. Not trusting my Father to know what is best for me. 

I see my lip quiver. I see me plant my feet and prepare to argue, maybe even cry and plead to get what I want, when I want.

I see me as a child again, resisting the "No." Will I ever learn? Will I ever just say, "Yes, Father. Whatever you say ."?

I see me watch the eastern sky, waiting for Christ's return. I wait impatiently. Expectantly. Hopefully.

I see (at least, I hope someday to see) Jesus split the sky and come back to this earth. Then, oh then,  I see every knee bow to his Lordship. And I see me rising to meet him.

Oh, glorious day!!

Morning Sun

I watched the sun come up this morning. Rising bit by bit over the hill until it fully filled the morning sky. Its light so powerful and bright I could not look at it full on but had to shade my eyes from the brilliance

I think when I see Jesus in heaven it will be a little like that. The light of his glory will fill the air. His goodness and love will burst forth as the rays of the sun and I will cover my face. I'm afraid I will be ashamed of myself in his presence. His light will reveal all my flaws. He will see all my failures, all the times I wanted to please him or intended to obey, but then I didn't.

Or maybe it will be like the summer afternoon sun and I will lift my face and spread my arms wide and welcome the warmth and light. Then I will dance in delight at the nearness of him and because of the wonder of his love for me. And I will worship him. Forever. 

I am so grateful that I am already forgiven. When I believed on Jesus for the salvation of my soul, he washed all the sin of my life away. Each morning, just as the sun rises and sheds light on the dark world, Jesus sheds his light on the darkness of my soul and I am renewed. I can begin again. 

And I worship him.

A March Birthday

How do I describe my younger son? 

Physically: Tall, blond with blue eyes, artistic hands and a quiet manner. He is a cowboy from the old west. 

Socially: Quiet, friendly, married and a daddy. He is a cowboy.

Likes: Horses, cows, dogs, tractors, camping, guns, trail rides; being the "cool uncle". He is a cowboy.

Dislikes: being still, crowds, lazy people and messy places. He's a cowboy.

He loves God, his family, and helping others. He works hard, gives generously and asks for little. He is a cowboy.


My son had a birthday this month (March). That reminded me of all the birthdays of his growing up years. We would have family and friends come by for cake (usually decorated with horses and cowboys) and ice cream. Some times it would snow; sometimes it would be sunny and warm. Whatever the weather, whatever the party, whoever might be there he remained the same. He is a cowboy.

PS: I started this in March but couldn't finish it until now.It's only a little late.

Time to Catch Up

Life has a way of sneaking past you.

Day by day, things happen and I neglect my gift, my joy, of writing and I settle for the busyness of my small corner of the world.

My Gratitude Journal lies neglected and gathering dust.My heart is full of Thanksgiving for the gifts God gives me daily, but the thoughts have not come to life in words written.

Notebooks take space on my desk, but no ink fills their pages.My heart is full, but somehow I have squelched the impulse to share. I can't release the pressure by picking up the pen (or clicking the icon at the keyboard). And so it builds until my seams are frayed and I come apart.

Ideas float into my mind, then float right back out.

I feel the pressure. I know God is calling me to begin again. So, here I am. I have no idea what I will say. I have no idea how I will make myself open the pages and spill my thoughts. I only know that I am compelled to take up the pen and begin.

When I opened my pages here last week, I was amazed (and sad & disappointed) that it has been two years since my last post! How have I let the time slip away?  In those two years, we have a new grandson, Logan, born February, 2012. An unexpected blessing, he's a delightful gift to our family.

Our girls are both in High School.

Levi is 3.

One daughter-by-marriage decided she no longer wanted to be a member of our Guthrie Gang and a divorce followed. Our hurting hearts are mending. 

A lot has happened in two years. Very much remains the same. We love God and know that he loves us. That never changes.