The Blank Page

A blank page is before me. It looks somewhat intimidating and challenging but exciting at the same time.
A clean white sheet of paper waiting for my thoughts lies there. It waits for my thoughts to fill it. Shall I write letters to friends? Start a story? Author an essay? Compose a poem? Breathe a prayer?
As the ink flows, so do my ideas. Words come into my mind and out through my fingers. The pen moves. Black lines form the symbols of words. The things I see out my window become images in my eyes that transform onto the page.
Hope begins to blossom. I may get a whole page today. My muse smiles encouragement to me as I pause. She whispers in my ear, “Keep up the good work. Be brave.” So I continue, still not knowing where this will end.
Oh dear! Where did that thought go? I had an idea, but it slipped away before I could get it down. Will I find it again? Will another take its place? Can I keep the doubts at bay and just continue moving the pen? What’s next? A list? A question? How do I proceed? What’s the next sentence?
Well, as you can see, I’m done now. I covered the blank page with my scribbles until there is no more room and nothing more to say.
Good enough for now.

Ten Words

“For I am full of words, and the spirit within me compels me; I am like bottled-up wine, like new wineskins ready to burst. I must speak and find relief; I must open my lips and reply.” ~ Job 32:18-20

I need 10 words to describe my week. How can I distill 168 hours into 10 words? How can I break the ups and downs of 10,080 minutes into 10 words? Where do I begin? Do I keep a minute by minute account of my day? I would get nothing done but analysis and writing. Then, I would still need to choose only one word for the day, or more accurately 1.4286 words per day. What is .4286 of a word? Is it a partial thought?

It is so hard to choose. Each moment is unique. Each moment brings a different feeling to it: bored, sleepy, learning, busy, tired, loved, excited, sad, happy, lonely, overwhelmed. All these can happen during one day. How can I choose only one word?

I want to use descriptive words that express the overall complete feeling of the day, but what do I emphasize? What's the most outstanding point of any one day?

I want to be honest, to share my days with the friends and family of my life. Should I limit my choices to all positive upbeat words? Can I be truthful enough to share those not so great days? Will they understand?

My trust in God leads me to believe they will accept me as the sinner saved by grace that I am. I hope I can remove my mask and be real.

Ten words to reveal the real me. Lord, help me.

A Moment of Worship

Phrases of songs float through my mind. I hear bits and pieces of God’s gospel in the music. Words bring powerful images of the awesome holiness of God and the amazing mercy and grace He bestowed on me.

I think I forget, at times, the greatness of God. I tend to take for granted my access to Him and come into His presence and neglect to seek forgiveness and cleansing. I don’t always take the time to worship Him and give Him praise. Too often my time with the Lord is spent whining and complaining or presenting a list of “I wants” disguised as “I needs”.

When I seek guidance, do I pray, “What would You have me do?” or do I pray, “This is what I’m doing, bless my efforts.”

As the music plays in my head, I hum along. It reminds me of the truth of His word and that brings a smile to my lips and a prayer forms:

Dear Lord, help me remember to seek your guidance and blessing first. In all things let me be full of praise of You. Let me always express my gratitude to You. Let me always rejoice in You. Let me always worship You.

Who I Am

Who am I? That sounds like a simple question, but the answer is not simple. I am a complex being so when I’m asked this question, I feel I am a confused child in a grown up body. One would think that by my age and with my experience, I would have some idea of who I am. But, putting that essence of me into words that aptly describe the real me seems a daunting task.

I know that I am more that what I do: accounting, house work, volunteering or writing. These are merely outward symbols of me. I enjoy most of these symbols. I feel useful and necessary when I do them, even though almost anyone could do what I do.

I know, too, that the different hats that I wear are not the complete, real me either.

I am a wife, mother, and grandmother. I am an ever-learning student and I find the world and the people in it fascinating. I am the caretaker of our home. I am our family historian. These things combine to define my place in my family.

However, all of these are not the real me. I am a three-part woman comprised of body, mind and spirit.

The body grows older day by day. It no longer looks as it looked when I was young. It weakens and fails and will someday cease to function. When it does, others will call it death although I think of it as sleep.

My mind, too, ages. It seems to age more slowly than my body and feels much younger than my years. My mind is still capable of rational thought and I have attained a certain degree of wisdom by learning from my mistakes. (At least my children seem to think I have.) Someday the mind, too, will cease to function in this world and I will no longer have the ability to communicate with those around me.

My spirit, therefore, must contain the essence of me for my spirit lives forever. My spirit invited Jesus to come and dwell with me. He came and the Holy Spirit abides in me and I abide in Him. Because of this, I will live when my body and mind cease. Soul and Spirit have peace and joy in the hope of eternity with God.

So, who I am is simple after all. I am an eternal spirit captured for a short time in this mortal body. I am a child of God, created in His image to fellowship with Him. I am a disciple learning of my Master. I am heir to my Father’s kingdom. I am a woman of faith.

I am Karen and I am unique in all the universe.